Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Urge to Kill...Rising...

There are many powers that go along with beards.  Same with mustaches.  They can be a source of authority, means of cowing children and small animals, and as a weapon for fighting bears.  There are those, however, who would use this power for evil.  And by 'evil', I mean 'incredibly stupid fucking reasons'.  Enter the hipster:

(Pictured:  Douchebag)

This entity is the hipster.  They wear $600 jeans with a $2 thrift store t-shirt, and sport facial hair because it's ironic.  It's also worth noting that these things have no idea what irony actually is.  They also drink Pabst Blue Ribbon (PBR).  I have no idea why they do this.  If I were interested in drinking horse piss, I'd find a horse.  These individuals (it took a lot to even admit they were people) are not fit to breed, and should probably be sterilized.   They are the epitome of "doing it wrong".

1 comment:

  1. In defense of PBR. Hipsters drink pbr because... its the cheapest beer and therefore, in their 'expanded' minds, is ironic. For whatever reason hipsters think its cool to act like poor people and I stress the word 'act'. Those fuckers love their designer jeans... which btw Raw Denim cant be washed... wtf? who buys jeans you cant wash? Ill tell you who, hipsters. But back to my defense of pbr,now unlike a hipster, i didn't always think drinking pbr was cool. In fact when my friends and I would raid their Dad's fridge the pbr pounder (favorite among cheap Dads everywhere)was always left behind. Why this pointless story about my rebellious youth? Because today I drink pbr regularly... but not because its cool or ironic, i drink that shit because its 4 fucking dollars a pitcher at the bar. 4 bucks for roughly 6 beers? Yes please. So please, dear hipster, stop turning the only beer i can afford into an ironic icon because if you don't ill be forced to wash your stupid jeans.