"...I drank what?"

For those of you who don't understand the title, all will become clear in due time (and read a fucking book once in a while).  Today's beard is credited as being one of the founders of Western philosophy, as well as inventing a teaching style known as the Socratic Method (law school haunts me, even when I'm not doing actual 'work'). 

(Not pronounced 'So-crates', Bill and Ted)

The man is none other than Socrates.  He was literally killed for being the smartest motherfucker in Athens (full story here).  He decided it would be better to die, as no true philosopher has a fear of death.  Even when his followers bribed prison guards so he could escape, he didn't.   Instead, he drank hemlock poison and died for his crimes (hence the fake quote for the title, geniuses).  And the man gave us one of the best quotes of all time about marriage:

"By all means, marry.  If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher."